16 February 2012

culture warsis

Baroness Sayeeda Warsi

House of Lords



Dear Baroness Warsi

Good show!

Mrs Root was just saying how encouraging it was that somebody in the establishment is standing up for good old traditional faith values even if they’re not sure what values they mean or what faith it is they’re standing up for.

Well, let them stew Sayeeda! We jolly well know what we mean, don’t we? And let me assure you, Mrs Root and I have no problem at all with an unelected, muslim Cabinet Minister without portfolio representing a protestant country delivering Islamic gifts to the head of the Catholic church. Don’t let these liberal loud-mouths tell you any different. You Go Girl!

Could you just give His Holiness a bit of a heads up though. We still haven’t had word on the non appearance of Vatican back-up during our Re-Evangelizing of the West tour, and we’re nearly in Clitheroe now! We urgently need remittance of the expense claims submitted by ‘The Ordinary Folk Against The Rising Tide Of Filth In Our Society Situation Society’ - (TOFATRTOFISSS for short). Just give the Vatican Treasury a nudge for us would you? We need the money urgently now in order to continue on with our re-evangalisation mission all the way to Morecambe.

Champion! Keep up the good work! As Mrs Root put it, over a nice bit of breaded haddock last night, “We didn’t get where we are today by not being a judeo-christian culture, did we?” Quite right too!

You and I both know full well, that if these loud mouthed, extremist, fanatical, fundamentalist, heretical, ignorant, aggressive, hostile, twisted, warped, uncivil, peevish, contemptuous, coarse, hostile, rude, dogmatic, shrill, strident, viscious, rancorous, boorish, savage, irascible, spiteful, amoral, cynical, depraved, crusading, subversive, bigoted, thuggish, intolerant, unprincipled, sadistic, petty, vindictive, crusading terrorist secularists, have their way, we’ll all be in an atheist concentration camp before you can say Jack of Kent; and we’ll be made to concentrate and do all sorts of demeaning reasoning. It’s unthinkable isn’t it?

Let’s head them off at the pass!

Oh, by the way Baroness, someone altered your Wicki entry yesterday. Straight off the top it read…” Sayeeda Hussain Warsi, Baroness Warsi (born 28 March 1971) is a British lawyer and politician who has difficulty grasping the concept of Separation of Church and State". Bloody cheek! I hope you can get your hands on whoever was responsible for that and chop one of theirs off!

Yours Insha'Allah

Henry Root
(Suppliers of Judeo-Christian Wet Fish to the World's Jihadis)

PS: I forgot 'curmudgeonly'
PPS: Sorry, I also forgot to enclose a pound. Just ask Jo if you're caught short, he's loaded!


clodhopper said...


"The only choice is for Kashgari to be killed and crucified in order to be a lesson to other secularists," said Abu Abdulrahman.

I wonder does the good Baroness Warsi agree?

latsot said...

As our official self-appointed representative she can presumably deliver all those letters I've been writing to the pope all these years. I'll send them to her with detailed instructions about the tone of voice she should read them out in.

Although to be fair, it's shouting all the way down.

clodhopper said...

Just program a little sound chip to put in a greetings card and then you'd be sure to get the tone just right!