18 March 2011

The Red Nose Academic Bus Company Ltd

Our roving reporter interviews the CEO of Red Nose Academic Bus Co on the benefits of deregulation.

RR: Are we likely to see improved productivity and performance following nationwide academic bus deregulation?

CEO: Yes, certainly.the freedom to choose our own passengers and create our own routes will allow us to fulfill our ambitions by investing in our shared destiny in innovative ways.

RR: Isn't the destination marked on the front of the bus?

CEO: Well, for operational reasons, sometimes it is necessary to change the destination during the journey.

RR: Won't that be confusing for the passengers?

CEO: Not really. They will all end up in the same place eventually.

RR: How will you go about choosing the passengers?

CEO: Obviously, we want passengers that can get on and off the bus quickly and who don't slow us down too much, or take up too much of the drivers time trying to find their bus passes or purses.

RR: All the other bus companies are academic now too. Won't they all be choosing the most profitable routes and passengers?

CEO: Possibly. Some restructuring of services is inevitable. Market forces will weed out inefficient or failing bus services which can then be liquidated or taken over by more efficient and successful bus companies.

RR: Won't that mean, inevitably, that some areas and passengers get poorly served or find there is no local service at all?

CEO: Well, you must remember: anyone can set up an academic bus company now....anyone with a double garage or an old barn can build and run a bus company. No expertise or special qualifications are required; so, where a need is perceived, hopefully the market will develop a service to meet that need.

RR: Good. It all sounds rather jolly exciting.

CEO: It is: and at weekends we can strip out the seats and do house removals too!

RR: Lovely. Well thank you very much. Can I get the 11.15 to Preston now?

CEO: Er...um....sorry, that bus left at 10.53 apparantly. It seems you've missed the bus. There'll be another along shortly I imagine.