Why Can't You Fix My Car?

Once upon a time, a very long time ago.

The back end of the exhaust pipe was falling off the car so we took it into a well known high street enterprise that claims to deal with stuff like that quite promptly – it’s name is synonymous with popping out for a petit mal during your coffee break – you know who I mean.

‘Ah yes, the back end of your exhaust needs replacing’
‘OK, how long?’
‘Couple of hours’
‘Expensive?’
*shrugs*

Job done 2 hours later. 3 hours later take the car back.

‘It still rattles’
‘Ooo, that’ll be your catalytic converter’
‘how long?’
‘If we order the part today should be done by tomorrow afternoon’
‘expensive’
*eybrow raise* -

Next day - *phone rings*


'They sent the part but it doesn't look right'
'You mean it's the wrong one?'
'Yeah, we'll order another one'
'How long?'
'Another day'

Next day -*phone rings*


'We got the other part but it still doesn't look right so we rang the dealers and they say it's part no 1620041 we need but our suppliers don't have it and they can't get it but we could order one direct from Vauxhall dealer but we'll have to put a mark up on the price and if it's the wrong one they won't take it back.'

'So what do we do?'

'You'd be better off going direct to a Vauxhall dealer then if they get the wrong part its down to them but 1620041 is definitely the part you need'.

*takes car to vauxhall dealer*

'can you fix this?'
'yes, but we haven't got the part but we can order one'
'how long'
'two, maybe three Days'
'expensive?'
'£330 + tax' - *faints*
'can't you do it cheaper?'
'no'

*takes bike out of boot and cycles miles home*

Six days later *phone rings*

'cars ready'

*takes bike out of shed - cycles miles to garage*

'all done' *pays a small bleedin fortune over*

*puts bike in boot and drives home*

*warning light on dashboard lights up and stays lit*

*groans musically*