07 September 2011

The Root of Cloyne

Hey Jo

Never you mind that Enda Kenny Taoiseach fella. He’s an eejit, so he is. You're bound to get one or two bad apples in every barrel. Ah beejayzus, tis just bad luck that you’ve got thousands of them, is what it is.

Mrs Root thinks it’s probably all Obama’s fault since he visited Ireland.

It’ll probably be a good idea if you put a stop to your fellas buggering and torturing children for a bit till things settle down again. Take the long view, that’s the ticket!

If you’re reluctant to get rid of them we’d be happy to supply you with ice-filled cod pieces for the friskier priests to wear. Mrs Root thinks that’ll be more effective than giving them three hail mary’s, a how’s yer father and moving them to a new parish. No need to be bothering the Garde with it eh? Red tape: all that nonsense?

If Enda won’t toe the line stick some canon law up his backside on a short fuse. Remember the good ‘ol days Jo?

It’ll all blow over soon sais Mrs Root, (she’s at the wet fish counter – bless). One or two excommunicerations will see the end of all this nonsense.

Enclosed a pound for your legal fees.

Chin up Jo.

It’s not like you actually employ the buggers, is it?

Your affectionately

Henry Root

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